Date:	2009-06-07 21:28
Subject:	Everybody!
Security:	Public
Mood:	content
Music:	"Knights of the Road" Hollie

Ok, everyone who reads this PLEASE go here:

www.myspace.com/holliefoo

Hollie is one of my best friends in Wellington, and she's an amazing and fantastic songwriter, acoustic stuff, and I really really want everyone to go to her page and listen to her songs.

Do it!

Date:	2009-05-06 09:50
Subject:	Exciting
Security:	Public
Mood:	fine
Music:	"Crimson and Clover" Tommy James and the Shondells

I get an office.  I wasn't aware of this until last week.  Apparently I am retarded?  Anyway, I get my own office in the English Department and a staff email.  Ding!  I also get to go to the faculty club every Thursday and have lunch with the faculty and other MA students.  Here's something weird.  There's two other American masters students.  They are both from PA.  One is from Wilkes Barre.  The other went to Lafayette.  How insane is that!?

Also I got a role of film developed yesterday (just the negatives) and I have a booking at a dark room for this afternoon to go print some pictures.  I'm super excited.

I can't think of anything else.

Date:	2009-04-24 21:50
Subject:	Musing
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused
Music:	"Chicago" Sufjan Stevens

I came across, recently, a piece of writing I did some 4 years back.  There was a sentence that I could attribute to myself, but I'd much rather give the credit, as I feel it's most likely due, to Rei.  It said:

The problem with boys is that they are cute.

Amidst my recent melancholic haze broken only by the turning of pages of Salinger and Fitzgerald, this sentence struck a very deep chord.  This piece of very obvious wisdom is clearly the answer I've been looking for.  Why else I have spent the past month fighting romantic swooning fits with novels?  Because boys are just too cute.  Whatever else they do, however smart, funny, boring, quick, or short, the real dilemma comes from how cute they are, and how we somehow can't get beyond that and are reduced to quivering masses of jelly whenever they show us the slightest bit of what-might-be-romantic attention.

Granted, boys could probably say equally as validly, the problem with girls is that they are pretty.  But (and this does sound rather sexist in my own favor) we girls seem to have a bit more going on behind our pretty, which is to say we pretty much know exactly what we're doing with it.  Boys, of course, never quite pick up on this because they have much less going on behind their "cute," and thus may be inclined to think the only problem is our "pretty."  Dylan Moran even goes so far as to say that the amount of love men feel for women is akin to what women feel for shoes.  (True.  Ish.  I, among many others, am of the type that would, should some day our shoes suddenly and mysteriously vanish from the closet, look out into the vacuum of space and say simply, "I wonder why my feet are so cold.")

Yes, men can certainly feel quite passionate towards a woman, but I am rarely, if ever, on the receiving end of that, and find myself rather annoyed at finding so little behind it.  Particularly when it's so violently aimed at someone else.  And oh yes, we can be quite malicious and manipulative, but really it's because the "cute" drives us to it when no other tool at our disposal works.

The fact is that we are caused no end of problems by "cute," and I for one am pleased to have rediscovered this.

It probably won't stop the problem, though.

I can't stand it when people ruin things that are supposed to belong to me.  Like the one book that's always been mine, and they have to get so god damned analytical and say all the wrong things.  It absolutely kills me.  Nothing has ever been mine really except that book.

I know I haven't posted anything in over a month but I just haven't felt like it.  And that's all I feel like saying right now anyway.

Date:	2009-03-02 14:14
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	crush!
Music:	"Bohemian Like You"

All I can do now is listen to Bohemian Like You.

So what do you do?
Oh yeah I wait tables too.
No I haven't heard your band,
Cause you guys are pretty new.
But if you dig on Vegan food,
Well come over to my work,
I'll have them cook you something that you'll really love,

Cause I like you,
Yeah, I like you,
And I'm feeling so Bohemian like you,
Yeah, I like you,
Yeah, I like you,
And I feel wahoo, wooo

Wait,
Who's that guy,
Just hanging at your pad.
He's looking kinda BUMMED,
Yeah, you broke up that's too bad.
I guess its fair if he always pays the rent,
and he doesn't get bent about sleeping on the couch when I'm there.

Yeah, that last verse.  That's the one.  Oooooooh I've missed this feeling.

Date:	2009-02-27 16:43
Subject:	Grumble grumble
Security:	Public
Mood:	annoyed
Music:	"Something" The Beatles

This makes me sad.

I get rather angry about the decline of grammar, handwriting, and even books.  Most people still use books, but the truth is they're becoming more and more obsolete because everything is getting replaced by computers.  Grammar doesn't matter because you can use grammar checking tools in most word processing documents.  On top of that some schools are teaching text language as a real language.

And now this article on the death of handwriting makes me so sad.  I think it's got something to do with my background in Victorian literature, but it makes me scared that all these things that have been around for hundreds of years are being replaced.  I've never gotten a love letter, a real one; I've just gotten emails.  I try to keep a real written journal, but when I'm just sitting around going to work and uni it's hard to keep up writing the mundane.

When you read history books so much of what we know is based on records like journals and letters, so what happens when we keep everything on a computer, deleting journals as you stop using them or deleting emails when they take up too much room on your hard drive?  All we have now is countless media sources, blogs and journals from the white house to the guy next door who just needs you to know how mean everyone was to Sarah Palin.

I dunno, I guess it just depresses me that we really live in a world where you're just constantly bombarded by everything all the time.  Sometimes I wish I lived in a world where getting a real letter meant something instead of being vaguely pissed that the guy-of-the-moment isn't writing on your Facebook wall.

And to vent this frustration I'm posting on my online blog so that lots of people can see at once instead of sending out my messenger pigeons.

Ed and I broke up.

Here's the weird thing.  I've been thinking about it a lot, and I couldn't trust him at all after everything he's done.  So I would yell and get mad at him and say things I didn't mean.  So he'd feel like I was being possessive and crazy, and the cycle would repeat.  And I've been trying to ignore feelings for one of my other friends for months.  I realized that I couldn't take the relationship anymore and I had to finally break up with him.

And then he came home and told me we had to break up because he is in love with someone else.  And now I can't figure out what is going on in my head anymore.  I hate when people tell me how amazing I am and how they really should be in love with me, but they just aren't.  This may be the 5th break up that ended that way.  And even though I wanted it to be over, I kind of feel like I was the one who got the shit beaten out of them.

We talked for ages and we're gonna keep talking about everything for a little while.  Funny that we both arrived home last night ready to break up with the other person.

Date:	2009-01-07 23:07
Subject:	Things in DC
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

So I'm still really bad at LJing in a productive way.  I've been in DC for a few days and fun things have happened.  Here they are.

OBAMA!  So I went to the capitol building to have a look around and take the free tour (oh yeah, btw, thanks Washington cause everything is FREEEE!!).  When I came out there were cops everywhere with huge guns and snipers on the roof and like a billion SUVs/cop motocycles/an ambulence/more stuff.  So I asked what was up and they said they were waiting for Obama to come out.  So I decided to wait too.  And sure enough he came out and got in his motorcade, so me and the 20 odd people who also decided to wait waved at him.  Then a minute later out comes Joe Biden, so we waved at him too.  That was real neat.

Museums.  So the last two days have been rainy rainy rainy, so I spent the whole time in museums, which are, as previously mentioned, free.  National Portrait, Holocaust, Peterson House (aka Lincoln Death House), Natural History, Air and Space, and American History.  All awesome.  Also, one of the security guards at the Holocaust Museum said he thought he picked up my Kiwi accent.  He said he had a friend from NZ when he was in school and thought I had a bit of it too.  I found it very amusing.  Also also at the Air and Space Museum I met a family who live down the street from me.  In Wellington.

Kaitlyn.  Got to see K and her friend Mark tonight.  Lots of fun, very good food and drinks, and blathering about politics because what else do people do in this town?  Apparently hate their jobs.  But yeah, other than that it's all politics.  (Esp for those people who hate their jobs IN politics.  Then you're just a combination of woe.)

Um, that's all.  My feet hurt because I have walked an insane amount in the last three days.  Heading back to the valley tomorrow for trivia night, Sokol's on Friday, and then OMG PACKING to go back to NZ.  Holy crap that's soon...

Date:	2008-12-26 10:46
Subject:	Kim did this so I am too.
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful
Music:	"Llewellyn" Samuel Flynn Scott

I'm real bad at keeping this thing updated apparently.

So Ed was here and we had heaps of hectic fun.  I say hectic because we spent the entire three weeks rushing our feet off to go to as many places as possible: Oberlin, Chicago, Erie, NYC, Gettysburg, wait there's probably more...  But despite all the rushing and the colds we both developed, it was a whole bucket load of fun.

Now I'm in Myrtle Beach for what is probably going to be the last time ever.  Although I think I said that last time too.  But this time it's probably truer because my step-grandmother is selling the apartment since my grandfather died and left it to her, the big lame-face.  Anyway.

For lack of anything else to blather about, here's an end of the year thing.

( Because you care? )

Date:	2008-12-01 12:27
Subject:	Ok ok ok ok ok
Security:	Public
Mood:	complacent

So apparently I live in a universe of not posting for about a month or something silly like that.  Mostly, thought, because nothing has happened at all.

Not true.  Here's a list:

1. Came home.  It's cold here.  But seeing people is pretty swell.

2. North Carolina.  My grandfather died (not a big deal, seriously, we weren't close because he wasn't really close with anyone including his own children), so the entire family went down to Durham for the funeral.  It was awesome.  That sounds weird but hear me out.  All my cousins, my aunts and uncles, my step-aunts and step-uncles, step-cousins and other random family members were all around.  It was so wonderful to see them all.  Plus we got real North Carolina bbq.  Yum face.  Also, my cousin Alex goes to Duke Uni, so on one of the nights we got to go to this ridiculous frat-type party his dorm was having and just absolutely make a mockery of everything.  The three girls, me, Hannah and cousin Alice, made up names and stories and were generally just silly the whole time.  Overall a totally awesome weekend.

3. Oberlin.  I just went for a quick weekend hello and had a barrel of fun.  The first night Dylan got hilariously drunk and we all stayed up till 5 am being silly.  Plus Fletcher and my other friend Leah were randomly in town, so there was that too.  Also got to see Casey who lived in NZ with me for a while.  A very good weekend.

4. Pie.  I made lots of pie and cheesecake for Thanksgiving.

And that's about it.  Today I'm relaxing, and tomorrow everything will pick up times 100 when we go to NYC to see The Daily Show and then pick up Eddie from the airport.  And once Ed's here things will happen quite a lot.  Like the trip out to Chicago, Baltimore, Katie coming to visit, NYC, etc etc.

My goodness.

Date:	2008-11-05 01:19
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	jubilant

yes we fucking can

Date:	2008-11-04 15:05
Subject:	VOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTE
Security:	Public
Mood:	hopeful
Music:	watching The Daily Show

2 1/2 hours in line, and I got to press the button for Barack the Obama and Joe the Biden.  It feels great.

I voted, did you?

Date:	2008-11-04 03:12
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted

I AM IN THE VALLEY, I GET TO VOTE TOMORROW, I HAVE BEEN ON PLANES FOR UPWARDS OF 30 HOURS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE CALL ME TOMORROW BECAUSE I MISS YOU ALL LIKE CRAZY!

Date:	2008-10-25 09:06
Subject:	Socialism for dummies
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful
Music:	"Genius" The Dandy Warhols

Ok, I have to say it, what the ever loving Christ is the big deal with Socialism?  I mean, I know in school we get taught that it's evil like the Russians and Nazis, but this election it keeps getting thrown around a lot and frankly I don't see the deal.  I mean, first of all, calling Obama a socialism is a lie, cause he supports capitalism.  AND McCain and the republicans signed the $700 billion bail out plan nationalising the banks.  That's some socialism.

But more importantly, how is it that badf?  I probably would have agreed a few years ago and got all quaky about it, but now I live in a country that, until the 1980s, was a socialist society.  And it worked better than it does now, hell, the only reason they gave up socialism was because of a horrible Prime Minister who made some bad bad choices and had to sell off all big NZ owned businesses making the country capitalist.  But seriously.  Paying slightly higher taxes so that NO ONE has to pay for health, education, senior care, any social prgrams, well, that just seems like it'll save money in the long run.  And it seems like it was better.  Ed's dad went to college for FREE and Ed has to pay for his education cause they can't afford socialism anymore.

Seriously.  Why is that bad?  Isn't it better that the government control those programs than insurance companies or corporations or burocrats who have the government in their pockets anyway?  I just don't get why everyone is so freaked out by the government controling things if it would make those things FREE!

Anyway, apart from that I am a week away from coming home, and that is freaky.  It'll be good to be back, but still, it's been so long and I have a feeling landing in LA is gonna be a culture shock I am not ready for.  Ed is arriving on Dec 2, so I have a whole month of mooching around doing nothing in the valley.  So someone better hang out with me dammit!  Why did you all move to elsewhere?  (I really shouldn't be talking on that front...)

Date:	2008-10-14 18:51
Subject:	Now it's OUR summer, bitches!
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful
Music:	"Southern Belle" Elliott Smith

The past few days have been so beautiful and warm I don't even know what to do with myself.  This morning Ed and I went out for brekky, then smoked a bit of pot and played cricket in the botanical gardens.  It was amazing.  And every single day has been like that!  Too lovely for words.

Speaking of things that are better than expected, a few nights ago Ed said he had something he wanted to ask me.  He'd been really seriously thinking about postponing his ticket and actually coming to the US for a few weeks before he goes to England to see his brother and grandparents.  And we talked about it, and he feels good enough that that's actually the plan now.  I'm still coming on Nov 3, and he'll come at the beginning of December.  And I'm really happy about that.  And most things as it turns out.

That's all, really.  I'm getting bad at updating this thing.

he has feelings for someone else.

he isn't coming to the US.

i want to jump up and down and scream and for the love of God i wish someone would notice.

i'm gonna vomit.

Date:	2008-09-06 17:32
Subject:	I'M COMING HOME!!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	bouncy
Music:	wishfully watching The West Wing

Not for real or anything, but for a good few months.  I just bought tickets today, so it's completely official.  Ed and I are flying into LAX on November 3rd.  We have yet to get the rest of the tickets, but we'll be heading directly to Newark from there so we'll be in the valley that night, although that means getting in at like midnight or something silly like that.  We're flying back to New Zealand January 27th after a few weeks in California.

This means we'll be home for Thanksgiving AND New Years so there better be something fun you people!!

Yay for home, I can't wait to see everyone!

Date:	2008-09-05 11:19
Subject:	I've been hesitant about writing about politics
Security:	Public
Mood:	hopeful
Music:	"One Thing" Finger Eleven

But I can't really take it anymore.  In my liberal hippie mind I can't really imagine a world where McCain and Palin win this election, but I have to say I am absolutely terrified of the possibility.  This is not a well constructed post, so forgive the frantic writing.

First of all there's the outright hypocrisy.  The number of things McCain has flip-flopped (wait, Republicans, I thought that was the problem with Kerry...) on is outrageous.  He criticizes Obama for not knowing what's going on in Iraq but I have seen at least 10 different times that he has stated something about Iraq that has later been refuted.  He claims to be different than Bush, yet he voted with Bush on 95% of policies.  How is that different?

Now, I was wary about McCain, but it is nothing to how I feel about Palin, the clear pandering attempt to Hillary supporters (who I suspect didn't really support Hillary to begin with since apparently they don't care about policy at all).  She's so anti-choice that she'd refuse her daughter an abortion even in the case of rape, and yet when asked about her 17 year old daughter's pregnancy she said the media should respect her daughter's decision!  Isn't that a synonym for choice?

Then there's the Alaskan secession thing.  And that video clip from one month ago of her asking what the vice president is actually supposed to do every day.  And the ethics investigation on abuse of power.  And to top it off the conservative media calling people who hate her sexist (when they criticized anyone saying the same about Clinton haters) and saying she has foreign relation experience because Alaska is near Russia.  Seriously?  I mean, for real seriously??  Does she also have vampire experience cause that graphic novel 30 Days of Night showed that that month of darkness in Alaska is where vampires live?  Also, SHE THINKS WE SHOULD STOP PROTECTING POLAR BEARS.  BECAUSE SHE DOESN"T BELIEVE THEY ARE ENDANGERED.  DESPITE SCIENCE.

But seriously, she's anti-choice, anti gay marriage, pro-gun, super-Christian, anti-evolution, anti global warming, and she doesn't believe in universal health care and education.

As to the super religious thing, it fucking says in the 1st ammendment that this is a non-religious state!  Freedom of speech and freedom of religion.  That means you can't fucking govern by religion.  You can't say it's not the national government's place to prohibit gay marriage and abortion and then let the states decide.  That's why democrats want to give everyone the right, because IT IS NOT OUR PLACE TO TAKE IT AWAY.

The biggest criticism of Obama is that he is inexperienced.  But honestly couldn't that be a blessing?  The old, corrupt, in-the-game politicians are the ones bringing the US down, so what if we elected someone who wasn't already cornered by lobby groups and deals with other politicians?  What if we elected someone who makes international communities respect us again?  In New Zealand it's the hot thing for politicians to compare themselves with Obama because it means they're the right choice.

Mostly McCain and Palin scare me.

Date:	2008-08-30 13:28
Subject:	This is where Ed is from
Security:	Public
Mood:	relaxed

Date:	2008-08-05 09:28
Subject:	Things keep happening
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful
Music:	"Twilight" The Phoenix Foundation

Ed and I bought a car.  Because my old one was dead and we found the best car ever for cheap.  It's a 96 Toyota Camry station wagon.  The back is so big we're gonna buy a foam mattress so we can take a long camping trip in the south island next summer when we get back from the US.  The car drives like a real car is supposed to which is neat considering that old car can't even drive in a straight line.  We love it and we're so excited to take it up north in two weeks for mid-trimester break.

We got TICKETS TO THE DAILY SHOW.  I don't know how this happened since the tickets are free so they're never available, but I went online and looked and there they were, available tickets in December.  So we booked two dates, Dec 2 and Dec 17 which is my dad's birthday.  So Ed, my parents, and I will be going to see The Daily Show live and I am so excited.

We went to see The Phoenix Foundation last week.  The New Zealand Green Party (as in the political party) was having a benefit thing and there were four amazing Kiwi bands playing.  The other three were fantastic and I'd never heard them before, so it was great.  Then The Phoenix Foundation played last and they were just so fucking fantastic.  It was awesome.

And lastly works have been going so well.  I've been baking amazing cheesecakes and pies, so that's always good.

And Trade Aid is amazing.  It's seriously so amazing.  The weird thing is the more I work there, the more I read, the more I care, and the more I begin to realize that America is like a poison.  It's like this horrible disease that spreads its germs everywhere else in the world.  By choosing cheap easy labor we make money, so the rest of the world follows, and soon the gap between the richest of the rich and the poor is so fucking big that it's not actually fixable.  Did you know that if US corporations taxed just an extra dollar on the export taxes in Kenya the communities that export their goods would have enough money to send their children to school and have clean drinking water?  It's disgraceful that because the rich in America want to get richer they're taking off people in other counties.  Literally stealing their money to buy a nice car while the family in Kenya dies of starvation.

And it is so fucking hard to get people to recognize and care about what they're doing.  We're rather impressed with Starbucks these days because they care enough to offer you a choice of fair trade coffee.  Which is pretty amazing for a giant corporation to do when they could just continue to exploit their other coffee farmers.

Ok, shower time.